Special Guy
(warning: exceptionally mushy post below)

I would like to say goodbye to the guy I love so dearly. So this is me, saying goodbye to you. You have always inspired me to become a better person (regardless of your faults). Yes, you are a far cry from being perfect. You have lazy organizational skills and you're a whiner. You don't care much about people and you can be a snob. You suffer from colonial mentality and honestly honey, your grammar is not that impeccable too. But I love you nonetheless, so much so that I forgot I should love myself too. I love you almost to a fault, you see. I love the way you smile, especially when you're eyes are smiling genuinely too. I love hearing your laughter and when I stare at you, I feel myself swooning each time. For me, you're like a demigod.

I enjoy listening to your stories and I cry my heart out for your failures. I would like to be the girl who will stand by you each day. I want to fight your battles when you feel broken and defeated. I want you to be able to cry on my shoulder and to know that no matter how many doors close on you, mine will always be open. I want to cook you dinner (or should I say, gladly learn how to cook for you ) and nurse you when you feel sick. I don't mind breaking my daily routine just so we could be together. I will gladly ditch any meeting and any class just so I could go see you. I want to watch all those films you like even if some of them are not exactly Oscars' worthy. I want to watch the sunset with you and hold your hand under the stars.I want to share your dreams and your fears alike. I want to get all mushy with you and express my undying love. I want to hug you when my day has gone bad and when my perfect plans didn't turn out so perfect. . I want you to kiss me and make me believe I could win the world. I used to be that girl...the girl who wants your flowers and your kisses and your hugs and everything you have to offer. But I cannot be that girl anymore.

You love me in your own way... as I love you. But sometimes such love, no matter how beautiful, has to stop. Such love has ruined me already and might ruin you too. Maybe like the highway traffic, we are limited by the situation. Maybe letting you go is my biggest and most painful decision yet. Maybe life without you won't be much of a life anymore. Maybe you'll never know of the broken person I have become. I'm not sure if you'd ever get to read this but then again maybe you won't.

You are a special guy , honey, believe me you are. And I love you dearly, but this is goodbye.


(don't say I didn't warn you...)


Signing off,